I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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