Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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