i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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