The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
