Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
