is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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