ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
