tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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