i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
