I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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