I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
