Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
