Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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