so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize