Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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