TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
