I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
