sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
