Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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