So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
