they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
