Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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