Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
