We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
