I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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