After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
