She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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