ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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