Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
