don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i drank out of a bidet.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
