i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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