I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
