I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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