Old men and throwing up are my life now.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
