At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
