What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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