Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
