I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
