He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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