he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
