I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
