it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
