She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
