Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
