My balls are so social today.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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