They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
