There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I will be naked everywhere
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
