just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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