I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
