Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
