I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
